I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
