at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
