So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
