i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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