her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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