She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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