Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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