How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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