we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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