I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
