How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
