i think i have two assholes
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
