I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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