I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
