it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
