Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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