so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
