thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
