so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize