you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
