I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
