I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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