i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
