When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
