im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
