We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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