bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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