I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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