I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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