Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
