just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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