Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
