somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
