Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
