R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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