this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
