Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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