Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
