Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
