i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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