And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
