K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
