Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
