It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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