we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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