Having a random hookup so left but love u
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Of course I have a pirate flag
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
