Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
either way he was missing a nipple.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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