And the cops told us we were all naked.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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