I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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