as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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