Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize