Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize