Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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