Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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