I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
