I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
