worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
