I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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