You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize