Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
